Thinking out loud

About fifteen year ago, I joined to a little church in the back of a supermarket through a friend of mine from Goiânia/Brazil — one of my best friends by the way.

This little church was led by people of better social standing than most of its members — me included. But regardless of our differences there was a healthy relationship and a sincere interest in pleasing one another.

Over the years, my esteem and confidence in them was irrevocable. I used to say that I would have to be kicked out of there to be able quit.

Until strange things began to happen. Some people began to abandon us without any logical explanation. Entire families that I loved did not even give me a chance to try to bring them back. A family with whom the father organized some kart racing with me, the one whose father organized a barbecue on my birthday and some other families.

But I have learned that there are things in life that no theory can explain and not science with all its wisdom. It had to happen to me so I could find out what was going on in those situations. I found out who they really were and the engages in dirty tricks they were capable of.

It’s been about five years since I left them because of an imaginary problem of misunderstanding that they tried to put everything on my account just out of vanity and pride. But I will never admit to being wrong when I am not no matter the social position or the other party’s patent. Since then, they have made all kinds of engages in dirty tricks that no one can imagine not to have to admit and apologize for their mistakes of things they were not sure. Their will was to teach me a lesson, but to this day God is teaching them a lesson. I just watched them get confused all the time without the slightest intention of clarify due to their abuses. If you are God-fearing, even if you are not perfect, God will be able to devastate families because of you no matter their social standings or their patent. God is above all. God only wants to build and protect families, but He will never allow anyone to boast or exalt himself in His presence at all.

They tried to pump me over those five years with all kinds of teasing that real Christians — as they guarantee they are — nor could they think of doing. All this so that I was filled with rage, I lost my head and exploded with rage becoming a victim of myself to the police which was already on the radar and to whom they falsely denounced me for illegal possession of a weapon.

They say among them that “it seems that I already knew” and that it was “a matter of instinct or intuition”, but even I found it almost unbelievable how God spoke to me guiding me on how to proceed in every situation even though I am not deserving His atention and care.

The investigations unfolded in other aspects and the police passed a “fine comb” in the situation. They just did not find anything because there was nothing to find. Here in Brazil today even the president could not escape justice. They make mistakes like in any other profession and no one has the courage to speak. But I speak because I have no intention of pleasing anyone. I made sure they heard me in some situations which I took advantage of to vent. Sad but true. I may even be ignored, but I will not be a coward to shut up when it is necessary to speak.

I think these asshole folks thought the police could help them get my respect back, but despite the respect I have for the authorities, I can’t go back to being who I was after I found out who they really are and everything that they do wrong. Once again they failed drastically and got a butt face.

They will continue to make mistakes, distorting the truth, reversing things, making contact with my contacts in order to try to invent some more allegorical history of their head about me. They already hindered me from changing jobs after they tried to get me out of there. They got in my way of getting another girlfriend by contacting my contacts. All this to try to recover the dreams that they themselves interrupted. And they’re on my way, but I’m not on that path going towards them as if they were my point of arrival.

As people of good social standing, they have valuable things “on the table” including the woman I love who is there among them, but I can guarantee that this game doesn’t change without broken hearts because I don’t submit myself to people who act like them whatever the cost. I mean, if you’re not okay with God it doesn’t have to be a reason for separation but this case is surgical and God is the key factor. If she really loves me, life will find a way to let me do my best for her. Otherwise, I hope she will do me the favor of disappearing from my life and even from my orbit with all of them.

I am not perfect and I don’t exempt myself from my mistakes although I have nothing to forgive myself. My life’s mission is simply to give all possible honor to the One who deserves in spite of my weaknesses and limitations. And the end of this story (here very summarized) does not worry me because I am already very grateful to God for all He is and I don’t wait for His blessings only in this miserable world.

All the honor and all the glory to the Lord God almighty. Amen!

Last edited on Jul, 10, 2019 at 9:54 pm